Alias: SaintPaulo
Reason behind alias: The official story is that I was canonised by the betting gods following the 2002 World Cup; rumours that it's because I have the questionable fortune of supporting Southampton are as yet unconfirmed. The Paulo bit is just because things are always better Brazilianised.
So this betting thing then. Why? Originally, because being a student racks up a big bar bill. Also, because it seemed a shame to possess a disgracefully anoraky knowledge of major sporting endeavours without having a viable excuse for it.
How did you start? It was a couple of weeks into university, I had just turned 18, and one of the chaps I was studying economics with got talking to me about betting. I pottered along learning the trade for a few months, pretty much breaking even with silly accumulators and the like, then splashed far more money than I could afford on the World Cup, subsequently won far more money than I thought possible… and the rest is all a bit hazy.
What are you betting on now? How long I can survive living in London before I'm declared officially bankrupt and shipped off to Portsmouth. The current spread lies at 4 months, 3 days. In a bid to combat this financial Hades, the money goes down on the Premiership and any international cricket matches I happen to remember are occurring.
Just how good is Peter Crouch? Words really can't describe such things. He's, erm, towering. To avoid this question being completely pointless: better than many people think he is. He won me over, and I'm a very cynical man.
What is the fundamental nature of being? For most people, probably an overwhelming need to escape from the futility and pointlessness of their existence… it's either that or watching Brazil counter-attack.
Your finest bet? There have been a few ludicrously lucky big-odds winners, but all-round, Brazil at 8/1 and Ronaldo at 22/1 for the World Cup and Top Scorer in 2002 was probably the best, because it really helped kick it all off.
Your worst bet? The most I've ever lost was when Real Madrid failed to beat Lokomotiv Moscow in the CL a few years back. It wouldn't've been so bad, except I told pretty much everyone I knew that it was easy money. Wasn't especially popular around uni for a while.
Best piece of betting advice you've ever received? Never bet on Liverpool.
Best piece of betting advice you can give? Never bet on Liverpool.
Marlon Starling once said "I'll fight Lloyd Honeyghan for nothing, if the price is right". Who would you fight for nothing? Always looking to do the world a good turn, I'd have to fight James Blunt. It's surely a duty of any man with both functioning arms and ears to use the former to make sure the whiny twat can't abuse the latter any more. He's welcome to team up with the singer from Starsailor too if he wants.
Best bookmakers? For football, BetandWin. Being a pauper, they're yet to limit me. For cricket, bet365, for those juicy in-running markets.
Worst bookmakers? Tougher. As in most walks of life, the industry is dominated by mediocrity, not sure I can recall a 'bad' experience with any bookie, although Victor Chandler send me more crap through the post than anyone else, so it's probably them.
Name one thing that would most improve the quality of your betting life? Having the starting capital to do it properly. The prospect of being wiped out were I to start with a losing run is a bit prohibitive to covering more than the socialising.
The worst thing about betting is: If you insist on doing it profitably, it's really frightfully boring.
The best thing about betting is: Without it, my tolerance level would have been derisory, thus I would have done many, many, more silly and ultimately regretful things in my life, which may or may not have included dying. It's possible to argue that betting has saved my life. Not sure my folks would buy that one, though.
Any last words? Assuming I won't die after having given them… "What this world is like I do not know, nor am I even sure that I will find it, but it is my world and nothing else intrigues me." —Henry Miller, Tropic of Capricorn (Read. It. Now.)
BBC
