I should probably start by saying that I like bookmakers. Like prostitutes, shady publicans and Internet pornographers they allow us to indulge our vices free from the judgments of others. Unlike a lot of people, I've never felt that they were the equivalent of loan sharks or children's TV presenters - preying on the weak-minded and gullible - merely businessman providing a service, trying to turn a nickel into a dollar just like the rest of us.
And yet after clocking up three score bookie accounts or so online you do start to notice vexing little habits of theirs. They barely register at first but gradually become as annoying as a pebble in your shoe or Paul O'Grady. You will no doubt have your own pet grievances with bookies' websites but I wanted to draw attention to a few of mine to hopefully start the ball rolling that will eventually roll right over and crush these annoyances out of existence.
Right-click disabling. The kind of pointless JavaScript bollocks I expect to find on a Doogie Howser MD fan-fic site is still employed by some bookmakers. Disabling right-click is on every Don'ts list of web design you read yet it still persists, occasionally accompanied by a petulant copyright reminder pop- up - like anybody was going to steal their Geocities trash hump of a site. There are a dozen valid reasons for copying and pasting odds and events from a bookmakers yet some still act as if you're indulging in industrial espionage. An interesting and not particularly welcome insight into how they view their customers.
English translations that look like they were translated by the cast of 'Allo 'Allo. The world is a small place these days and it abounds in professional translation services of every kind. So naturally, if you're looking to siphon off a portion of the huge English-speaking betting market you'll be wanting to avail yourself of such a service. Unless, of course, you're Bet Class.
Bet Class originally had a horrible design and they recently redesigned the place from top to bottom. Remarkably, they give you the option to still visit the old site. In case you were more happy navigating the retarded scrawl of a child with learning difficulties. One of the joys of their old site is the Terms and Conditions, from which I quote:
The Webmaster and Betclass are entering into a non- exclusive referral arrangement as indipendent contractors. The Webmaster and his/her website are not emplyoees, partners, sales agents, franchisees, joint venture partners or in any other way interested or related parties. Betclass has no responsibility or liability in regard to the Webmaster website or the Webmaster business, nor does the Webmaster have any interst whatsoever in the business of Betclass.
BetNoClass is a multilingual site - it talks gibberish in eight different languages. Don't forget that these are their Terms and Conditions - are we expected to believe that a lawyer has been within 300 feet of this? What's insulting is that they couldn't be bothered to pay for semi-literate translation or even run the results through a spell-check. And if you've had to deal with their customer-service you'll know that the website is an accurate reflection of this laughably incompetent bunch of chancers.
Taking a dozen clicks to place a bet. One of the biggest mistakes web designers make is to confuse interactivity with usability. "Look - the user clicks here revealing a drop-down menu, then he chooses the colour of the betting slip, this brings up a Java applet Feature Presentation of why he should be viewing this in Netscape v1.00. We're being interactive! Count those clicks!"
If it takes more than three clicks to place a bet then you're wasting my time. One of the worst offenders are Globet who force you to read the inane messages they send every time you deposit, withdraw or place a bet by making it impossible to navigate away from the page without clicking a multiple-choice: How do you rate the answer provided: Bad, Fine, Very Good, Excellent?
I choose Bad every time on principle as I'm sure most of their users do. So Globet are using our time to collect gigabytes of utterly worthless market research while alienating their entire user base. NIce work fellas!
Offers that mean nothing. Ladbrokes rarely treat their customers to offers. No, they'd rather spend their billions employing cruel anti-social females to defraud large Irishmen of their last fivers.* But one offer I do remember was them promising to refund all correct score bets on an Arsenal game if Thierry Henry scored with a header. When I did some research on the probability of this I discovered that Henry had not scored a header for close to 200 games. Why Ambassador - with these fatuous offers you are spoiling us.
So, there you have it. Bookies are shameless ungovernable filth who treat their loyal customers like idiots. Yet we need them and it's only through moving our custom away from the cabbages who engage in such incompetent practice that they will ever learn. Never let it be said that they don't appreciate the bottom line.
*Legal disclaimer: It's possible that not one word of this is true.
BBC
